by Leah D.
IF YOU EVER FELT......you were not good enough to go to God for help or not good enough for church, or too old or too young then think again! I want to share my own personal life story with you, and I think you will, after reading what has happened to me, dramatically shift your perspective and realize, that as long as you are still alive and breathing, that it is never too late!
I started out as a good church girl, attending church every time the door was opened, and never missed a service. I was compelled to attend, to escape a very troubled childhood. Both my parents were deemed unfit for custody so at 14 years of age I was given to my maternal grandmother. My
"Granny" was 48 years old when I was born, and not in the best of health. Her illnesses indeed kept me close to God in prayer, always praying for her recovery. She recovered from tuberculosis, double pneumonia, hernias, a throat tumor, a huge tumor in her pelvis, and at one point, the doctor told me she only had a few years to live.
After high school, I decided I had enough of the church life, and turned my back on God. Due to my childhood abuse, i gravitated toward abusive
boyfriends. One, almost threw me out of a speeding car. As much as I was living a sinful life, I knew that prayer always worked and I resorted to praying to God only during a crisis and I had many. I was unable to leave the boyfriend, so I prayed about it. It was not long thereafter, the boyfriend dumped me for an older woman. Of course, I was devastated.
Out of sheer desperation, and going through numerous other abusive
boyfriends, I got down on my hands and knees and prayed for a good man
to come into my life. In comes husband no. 1, and he was that good man. We have a lovely baby girl, but she was born with a serious birth defect,
congested lungs and almost died at birth. Her right leg was much smaller
than the left, hemangioma scars all over the leg, and stayed in intensive
care for 10 days. Again, we resorted to prayer for a miracle. She was
saved at birth, and still, that did not bring me closer to God! After almost 15 years of marriage, it ended, amiably. We simply grew apart,
and never found a church home, just were professional church visitors.
After our divorce, instead of choosing to turn to God, I found a man through a dating service. It turned out he was an "atheist". But I
fell madly in love with him. I thought that he would be a perfect stepfather for my daughter, and that he loved me, and that was all I cared about. To me, it did not matter his religious beliefs.
Again, I put
God on the backburner. I did say to God one day, well, God, if you
do not want me marrying him, then, You just do something, because I am
going to marry him. We got our marriage license on Feb. 14, and on
Feb. 16, the fiance woke up and told me he did not think he loved me
anymore,, and he moved out of my house. I again, was totally devastated.
But it took me only 3 months of emotional distress before I decided I
would not give up, I would try again. Instead of turning to God for
help, I again, relied on my own strength and resources and used my
computer this time. In comes husband No. 2, , who appeared to be just
the opposite of the fiance.
A devoted family man and self made business
man. Well, marriage no. 2 lasted almost 10 years, but it was flawed
from the start. He was still in love with his ex-wife, but she refused
to take him back. We spent our honeymoon in Las Vegas, and instead of making church a habit, we frequented the local casinos. OUr relationship evolved around work and the casinos and we started abusing each other emotionally. Again, out of sheer desperation, and the fact the marriage was affecting my physical health, I asked God to get me out. I told God, it was either me or the spouse, and I was afraid to divorce the husband since I managed his office. Again, I resorted to prayer and said, God I am unable to divorce this man, please help me. The very next day, a sign on my way to the office had changed its usual motivational message to say the words, (see miracle Photo. 1 below) (the sign)
Just a few months after that prayer, the husband wins a huge jackpot,
gives me half of the winnings . Financially I was able to move out of
the house and file for divorce. At this point, you would think that with
all the answered prayers I had experienced in my life, that I would be
running to God and going back to a spirit filled life and getting involved in a church, right? Wrong again! Living alone in my own house, I was
raising a rebellious teenage daughter and struggling with a gambling addiction. Problems with my daughter held my attention and sapped my energy. LIttle did I realize it, that help was on the way.
One day, I was shopping at a local thrift store for artwork for my new
home. I came upon a large painting. It was very colorful and I noticed the painting did match my kitchen colors so I purchased it for a mere $5.00.
after taking it home, and placing it on my kitchen wall, did Inotice a face staring back at me. To me, it reminded me of the face of Jesus. The painting is an original acrylic, but unsigned.
One night, I became so curious, I decided to rip the brown sealant paper from the back, in hopes to discover the artist. To my surprise and delight, the artist used brush strokes to paint the words, "He Is A River" on the back, nothing more. I looked in the Bible and the phrase "River of Healing" is in the book of Revelations(KJV). I decided at that point to start attending a local church in my neighborhood on a regular basis. For the first time since childhood, I made a decision to officially join the church. Since I had accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior when I was only 11 years old and got baptized then, I did not think it wass necessary to do that again, so I did not. But my heart was meditating on God, and hungry for God. Even though I was lonely, I would sit on my sofa and talk to my Jesus picture. I remember saying one night, God, how I wished you could come down and just put your arms around me.
My focus had changed, and I was not tyring to meet husband No. 3. But my girlfriend needed some help one night and invited me over to help her
do Yahoo search on the singles site. I found 10 men who met her criteria,
and we both commenced to find the that perfect man. One in particular she
did not like, but he became my friend. We started dating very casually and it so happens that he is a Christian. He also decided to join my church.
Just when it seems that my life was getting easier, a fire broke out in
my rent house in another city. My renters decided to choose me for over
$250,000. I faced a serious legal battle, as they were accusing me of breach of contract, violating the DTPA act, and fraud. They were able to
procure the services of one of the largest law firms in the country, pro-bono. I felt like I was being attacked big time by the Devil. If I lost, it
would have jeopardized my insurance license, and i had worked a long time to finally get my insurance agency going. But one thing was different, God
had already a plan in place for me, and the battle was already won. It so
happens that my boyfriend was a criminal attorney, owning his own law firm. After a 6 month courtship, we got engaged and married 7 months later. When court time finally came around, I showed up with my attorney husband beside me. The renters dismissed all charges against me and left the courtroom with only their deposit returned. When God answers prayer, God does a good job, He never leaves out a thing. It so happens that
my 6"3" husband has the best loving arms in the world!
Ooops, I
almost forgot to say that my beloved Granny lived well beyond her
predicted time! She lived to be 85 years old. My daughter, despite her
birth defect, made the golf team in high school, and both her legs
are the same size and she is so beautiful. Please join me in prayer that she will get to know Jesus as her personal Savior like I did. Husband No. 2
has stopped gambling, re-dedicated his life to God at my church and
gets baptized and gets his ex-wife back! They re-married after 10 years
of being apart. now I live my life a lot differently than I used to. I make
a point to not miss Church and my daughter is now attending church with
me and my husband. No, I am not perfect, nor am I self righteous. I still struggle from time to time with old habits, old fears, depression and anxiety, but I have a place of refuge to go now. Having God in my life
on a regular basis, has given me strength beyond my strength, and
gives me a reason to live.
The love of God pursued me, even when I openly rebelled against Him. Without a doubt, I do believe it all started when
I made that first decision at only 11 years old to trust in Him. It was
a childlike trust that kept me in God's hands all these years. Just recently I have decided to become an ordained minister through the TGCM.org ministry. I am begining this study program now, and when I get this ordination, it will be the most successful thing I have ever done in my life. My heart and mind is thirsty for God. And I have the time to
devote to the Lord's work, and I want to use each moment I have now,
to do something for God, as He has done so much for me.
I truly believe that if you come to God with a sincere heart, no matter what you have done or where you are right now, that God will hear your prayer and bless you speedily and mightily. This has worked for me. There is no battle too great, that God cannot win for you. There is no great heartache, that God cannot heal.Keep in touch with this website and let us know your status, in your walk with the Lord and share your many miracle that I have no doubt will come your way. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.
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